Rejection and failure are tough, anyway you look them. We've all been in that really vulnerable place where we feel like a loser, but it's how we bounce back from that and re-start that makes all the difference. Think of the people you most admire — many of them didn’t get where they are just by sailing through life without any negative experiences or failures. Most of them distinguished themselves by their ability to get right back up every time they fall. But resilient people aren't born that way or have magical skills that the rest of us normal folks weren't blessed with; they developed it and work at it every day! Here are a few ideas to get you going on the right path, so the next time you're knocked down, it's not quite as hard to dust yourself off.
Be Realistically Optimistic and Keep Things in Perspective
Building resilience isn't about blind optimism. Rather than looking only on the bright side and pushing away negative emotions, resilient people let themselves experience what they’re feeling in any given situation, whether it’s good or bad. They don't try to push the negative feelings away, rather they accept that it's part of life. Try to consider stressful situations in the bigger picture. Keep a long term perspective and avoid blowing things out of proportion.
Build Up Your Support System
When you get knocked down hard, it’s important to have the resources to help you get back up again, which includes having people to lean on. Build up your relationships with those close to you that you know you can trust, and will be there for you when you call them in a complete funk and/or panic. My oldest brother is my biggest cheerleader, but will also kick me in the butt when I need it; we all need a person like that in our life.
Notice and Appreciate the Little, Positive Things
Notice and appreciate the little joys and victories — which will keep you from feeling like “everything” is going wrong. Remember, there's always a little positive in every day, even if it's teeny tiny and hard to see. Heck, sometimes my morning coffee is the best part of my day, but I accept that and know that tomorrow will bring new positive things.
Keep Growing and Learning
Seek out growth experiences that boost self-reliance and individual decision-making skills, this will give you confidence in your ability to bounce back from failure. Those who have mastered the art of resilience know that setbacks and challenges can be our most powerful learning opportunities. Some of the world’s most successful people have been fired from their jobs, and used the experience to learn something about themselves.
Always be Grateful
Gratitude boosts well-being--those who are thankful may enjoy better physical health and mood than those who focus on hassles and complaints. Every day spend a few minutes writing down everything you are grateful for. While doing this, allow your body to open up and notice what it feels like. Try to do this daily for 30 days and see if you notice a difference in seeing the positive in things, even when things go wrong.